Part One...
Boudoir photography is often associated with body positivity. And while body positivity is an amazing goal, it is not always attainable, or even realistic. That is where body neutrality comes in.
What is body neutrality? In simple terms, it means that it doesn’t matter if you think your body is beautiful or not. You recognize that your value is not tied to your body. It says, “I accept my body as it is.” You are worthy of all good things no matter how you feel about your body.
Sometimes, body neutrality is a step in your journey to body positivity. Sometimes, it is the destination. Either is OK. Give yourself grace and compassion along the way. It can be hard to love your body. Come to terms with your body instead. You are so much more than a body.
Emotions around our bodies can be complicated and difficult. When we unlink self-worth and appearance, we can create a healthier and more realistic relationship with our bodies. Your love can look like taking care of yourself and tuning into your needs. Respect your body, regardless of what it looks like. See your body as a vehicle that you treat with kindness to help you move through the world in a joyful way.
We, particularly as women, are socialized to think that our value is related to our appearance. It is work to dismantle these internalized beliefs. Body neutrality takes away some of the pressure to shift this paradigm. You don’t have to force yourself to love the way you look. Our purpose lies beyond what we look like or what we can’t do. The fact that your body lets you experience life is incredible, in and of itself. You can celebrate the fact that your body simply exists and accompanies you through life.
Boudoir sessions can allow you to meet yourself where you are. It is a freeing space to express yourself inside your body. Boudoir that presents people in a more natural, less airbrushed state is especially helpful. You can be a part of creating timeless images that celebrate your individuality. Of course it is good to love your body. But it is even better to love yourself without equating your value with your body. A good boudoir photographer will capture photos that are authentic and true to your soul.
Your session can also be way to take this self-love journey one step at a time. Maybe you love your eyes, or your hair, or your powerful thighs, but you are doing your damnedest to embrace and feel neutral about your stomach, your nose, or your big feet. Maybe you are in a body that doesn’t feel like home right now due to illness, injury, gender identity, or an eating disorder. Some bodies cause us pain. You don’t have to celebrate everything about this container you are housed in. But you can celebrate pieces. You can reject the idea that there is such a thing as a perfect body and accept where you are right now without judgment or shame. Boudoir allows you to be present in your skin, and become more mindful and aware of the things about you that are beautiful and/or useful.
Self criticism takes a lot of energy. Body positivity also takes a lot of energy. Honestly, it can be exhausting. Focusing on neutrality and peace can feel much less overwhelming. Being at peace with your body, embracing it on good days and bad, and recognizing that you don’t have to deem yourself beautiful in order to feel worthy is powerful.
Our bodies are unique and should be viewed without criticism. Easier said than done, of course. So we can start with reframing our thoughts, listening closely to what our bodies tell us, treating ourselves with respect, and living as we are in this moment, without continually telling ourselves to improve. Ideally, we will begin to see the beauty of diversity and celebrate all bodies. In a perfect world, we will focus on living and considering our body’s needs for care and food and rest and movement. Until then, we can begin with acceptance and inclusion – a neutrality that begets love.
