Part Two. Read Part One HERE
I am an intelligent, mature, and sensible woman who has spent time, research, and energy attempting to love my body. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, I still have to remind myself that being thin or young or beautiful will not make everyone love me. I have actively tried to dismantle the toxic ideals about body image that society has taught me, and I am still trying to unravel this idea that my worth has nothing to do with my appearance
Some people are successful at really embracing the truth that all people deserve to love themselves, regardless of shape or size or ability. Wonderful! I truly mean that, and I wish I was there. But I’m not. It takes time, and the journey is far from linear For me, this is where body neutrality comes in. Body positivity and body neutrality can both be positive. With body neutrality, I have been able to begin to heal by taking the focus AWAY from my appearance
I have been working hard toward thinking less about my body, striving to move away from being so concerned with looks. Body neutrality is a body image movement that doesn’t focus on appearance. How do you look is the least interesting thing about you. Your skills and strengths and talents and accomplishments are the things that lead to genuine happiness and fulfillment. The less time we spend thinking about our appearance, the more time we can devote to thinking about what truly matters to us.
Elevate yourself and your perspective around your body by instead of working to change it, caring for it. So much bodily autonomy is already taken from women. Do not take it from yourself. It is about simply being, without passing judgment. We can be a part of beginning to create a world outside of beauty standards that is not hyper-fixated on looks.
In your journey to accepting your body, here are some reminders:
- It’s okay not to love all of your body all of the time.
- Find the ways your body serves you.
- Your worth is not defined by your physical ability.
- Be kind to your body.
- Don’t let thoughts about your body interfere and pursuing what you care about.
- Your body isn’t wrong.
- Speak to yourself like someone you love.
- Your body works hard and deserves compassion.
- You are allowed to take up space.
- Dress in what you like - what makes you feel confident and comfortable.
- Be proud of what your imperfect body has accomplished.
- Nourish your body.
- Explore what makes your body feel good – delicious food, massage, sex, dance.
- You don’t need to feel attractive all the time in order to enjoy life and relationships
- Your body is unique and doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
- Your body is not an object for others to evaluate.
- You deserve to enjoy your life.
- Liking your body is not a requirement for loving yourself.
- Don’t allow body negativity to dictate when you do or don’t do something.
Overall, you will feel positive sometimes. You will feel negative sometimes. But, mostly, the goal is to just not think about your appearance much at all. You can even practice on others as a way to get used to this for yourself. Stop commenting on peoples appearances. Stop speaking your body shame out loud. Even if the voice in your head is hard to silence, you don’t have to give it an outlet. Deemphasize appearances. Compliment someone’s gentle heart, infinite patience, or kickass attitude. We are trying to shift an entire mindset from discontent to respect. The goal is for body image thoughts not to take up so much mental space.
One of the first things I did on my personal journey of radical acceptance of the body I am in is to look toward my daughters. It is so easy for me to see them as incredible and amazing, for so much more than their bodies. Not only that, they look like me in some ways. I don’t want them to see me hating a part of myself that may look a lot like what they will look like at 40. I can’t hate my body if I love theirs.
It is fine to have body neutrality as your goal. Choose goals that work for your life. Loving our bodies can feel unattainable. Instead, be liberated from thinking about it as much by embracing body neutrality. Neutrality can also be a more realistic goal for those who have not been included or accepted into the mainstream body positivity movement. People with disordered eating, people of color, compulsive overexercisers, disabled people, and people in the LGBTQ+ community can experience marginalization, or even damage, from some of the ideas, promoted and mainstream body positivity.
Accepting what is, even when it is difficult, as a radical act. Choosing to focus on attributes other than appearance is an act of rebellion. You are already a work of art.
