There’s no such thing as a guilty pleasure.
No pleasure is wrong unless it does harm. Instead, pleasures are things that reduce our stress, help us to relax, and bring joy into our lives.
Many people, women in particular, see their failure to prioritize their desires as selfless. I would argue that instead of selflessness, it is self-sabotage. Neglect of your own enjoyment sets an example of ignoring or diminishing your own needs. Putting yourself last does not value your worth. Instead, model joy.
Pleasures allow us to engage more positively with others. It is so much easier to be kind to others when you have taken care of your wants and needs. Why feel embarrassment or guilt? Pleasure makes us more alive. Feeling guilty over your love of reality tv or Cheetos or romance novels or N Sync’s back catalog is fruitless. There is no such thing as an indulgence with no value. These things heighten our senses, extracting fun and delight from the everyday. If something like a piece of chocolate or sleeping late bring us juicy joy, why should we say no?
In boudoir photography, knowing yourself and being honest about what pleases you promotes a freedom in your session to celebrate the person that you unabashedly, unashamedly are. You can embrace the pleasure of the moment and of your own unique beauty.
When it comes down to it, guilty pleasures are about judgment. What will others think about what you enjoy? Are the things you enjoy “good enough”? It is all a pretense. Who gets to decide? You do. You get to decide that non-productive time is not a waste. You get to decide that you will give your brain a break.
Feeling guilt over what brings you joy, rather than appreciating it, is self-criticism. But the world can be hard enough as it is. Give yourself some gentle pleasures. Welcome happiness. Small joys can make up a fulfilling life, even if it is dancing to an 80s hair band in the kitchen while you heat up a can of Spaghettios.
Pleasure does not need a purpose, and it does not need guilt. You are valuable, and therefore, what brings you joy has worth. The world can be dark. Something that brings you warmth and light should be celebrated.
If you like something, like it. Enjoy your life. Embrace your weird. You are gorgeous in every way. Treat yourself well because you are incredible. Your body deserves all the pleasures - of good food, of laughter, of movement - not so that you will be beautiful, but because you already are.
